Married for two years but no s*x life

Marriage Relationship

Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Rao+1 » Wed May 31, 2017 5:12 pm

I am married for more than two years but I never had actual intercourse with him. I saw a gynecologist and she mentioned that I am still a virgin. My husband loves me and cuddles but never the actual intercourse. I have asked him to see doctor several time but he didint go yet. Any suggestions, is there any one with similar situation
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Moosey » Wed May 31, 2017 10:26 pm

Well then your marriage is not legal in most countries- it is not consummated. Why? Is it you, is it him? Is he gay? You say you cuddle- what about other sexual activities besides intercourse? Kissing? Did you get married without knowing each other well?
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby cacahuate86 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 12:05 pm

While non-consummation is grounds for a divorce, it's not grounds for an annulment in state law (vs. religious law). So, your marraige most certainly is legal in almost every country, certainly every country in the west (unless you live in the Vatican).

Having said that, impotence can have countless reasons. You're absolutely right in suggesting he go see a doctor.
It could be something something benign (nerves), something psychological or something physically serious, like a tumor. He needs to get checked out... regardless of your marital status.
Try and be understanding, but underline the seriousness from his perspective, rather than yours.
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Moosey » Thu Jun 01, 2017 10:21 pm

Totally is grounds.
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Moosey » Thu Jun 01, 2017 10:24 pm

What is his reason? Is he sexual in other ways? The only way to get to bottom is to have heart to heart- but another question?? Did he date before marriage?
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby cacahuate86 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:06 pm

In the case of non-consummation it can be declared "voidable" but not automatically "void" and it isn't seen that way right now. If he simply refuses to consummate the marriage it cannot be declared "void"/be annulled under any circumstances. There has to be a diagnosed reason for his impotence in order for the marriage to have any grounds for annulment and even then one of the parties has to actually apply for it to be declared an "unlawful" marriage and the impotent partner would have to have prior knowledge of his impotence, which can only be proven if there was a diagnosis BEFORE the marriage took place and not informed his partner of that status. This marriage neither has a diagnosis nor an applicant. So it is absolutely legally binding as it stands.
It's not considered a proper marriage under canon law, e.g. But a church annulment has no legal status.
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Moosey » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:14 pm

Your so right cacuache- it's amazing- splitting it up like that. Thanks for that education- this back and forth doesn't help this poor woman though does it. She still hasn't consummated her marriage- for 2 years. You seem to think that's normal. She however has a problem with it.
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby cacahuate86 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:31 pm

Hence my prior: try to get him to see a doctor. I don't think it's normal. But it can have a lot of reasons. He might just truly be asexual, or he might have a physical or psychological issue. Anything from abuse to tumors... we don't know what it is and it certainly can't be diagnosed via app. But I understand that impotence is a serious issue for any man and he might feel extremely embarrassed about it. So that's why I said, be understanding, be sympathetic, but at the same time, try and make him understand, from a purely health-related standpoint, that it could be something rather serious. Therefore, he should really go and have it checked out. That doesn't mean his situation will change or that there is a "cure", but at least he has clarity.
The op can then come back and get some info on the intricacies of annulment vs. Divorce, if she chooses... so no harm, no foul :wink:
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Rao+1 » Fri Jun 02, 2017 12:29 pm

This is the first time I spoke about it in a forum. I am from a orthodox family so although we dated we never had s*x. Before marriage he was attracted to me, he lost interest after marriage.I agree the next best thing is to investigate. Its comforting when I read your replies.
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Re: Married for two years but no s*x life

Postby Rao+1 » Fri Jun 02, 2017 12:38 pm

He is a nice and kind person, although short tempered.We both are. He stood by me through thick and thin. I hope things get better as I want to stay with him and be happier than what I am now.
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