Muslims? Sensitive question

Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby CupcakeGirlll » Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:51 pm

Hi ladies. I'm a muslim girl and I've had oral before. I regret it so much and I know that I must haven't done it. So the question is if I get married in the future shall I tell my husband about it? Because I know that muslim men are closed minded about this topic. And I'm afraid that I will be judged cuz of my past (it happened one time only). I know that I'll never do it again before marriage. But I'm overthinking and it's really annoying me. I'm thinking about closing this page and never telling my future husband about ut but it makes me feel that i'll be betraying him. What shall I do? I already feel depressed and starting to have thoughts about killing myself :( please help!
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby Yukino114 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:41 pm

Salam! Don't worry sister, as long as you regret it and you ask for forgiveness and never do it again you're fine.
You are not required to tell your future husband anything about your past if you don't want to. So just don't tell him. Or as your relationship grows, and you feel you can trust him and nothing will change between you if you tell him, tell him.
I wish the best for you💖
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby emma12 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:46 pm

Woah hold it there hun, no need to start thinking about suicide, it's not worth it!❤

We all make mistakes, it's okay, you regret it and God forgives you so don't worry about it anymore. As for telling your future husband, first of all, not all muslim men are closed minded. Some non-muslims are closed minded and some aren't so don't think about it that way.
Your future husband should love you for the good and bad things that you've done and help you through your tough times. You're still a teenager now so by the time you get married, I think it'll be 5 years from now? I don't know but still, he shouldn't judge you, leave you or make you feel bad about doing something in your teens. Boys mess up too when they're teenagers. Marry someone who's understanding, open and supportive.
Plus, you're free to either tell him or not to tell him. You'll change from now till the time you get married and your perspective will change and mature so leave it till then. Just stop worrying and ask for forgiveness if you feel like you have sinned. Goodluck❤
❤❤❤❤
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby CupcakeGirlll » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:02 pm

Thank you so much, I feel more comfortable now. But it just bugs me a lot you know? Like how will a muslim man accept it? (Since I've read online a lot of such stories ugh) sometimes I even think about not getting married lol. But i know that if my future husband has had s*x before I wouldn't mind it since it's in the past. But it's rare to find a muslim man that wouldn't leave a girl's past behind.
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby emma12 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:59 pm

You're too young to be thinking about this now. Who knows, you might change your mind and decide NOT to tell your future husband when you're older. We all make mistakes, plus it's not like you lost your virginity or anything.
Like I said, not all men are closed-minded, muslim or not... Marry someone who's just as open as you are and like my dad always tells me: "Marry someone who reminds you of your dad". Now I'm too young to get married, I'm only 20, but yeah you get the point. Ask for forgiveness, God is merciful and I'm sure he'd send you a man who'll love you & cherish you just as you are. You seem awesome xx
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby CupcakeGirlll » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:36 pm

emma12 wrote:You're too young to be thinking about this now. Who knows, you might change your mind and decide NOT to tell your future husband when you're older. We all make mistakes, plus it's not like you lost your virginity or anything.
Like I said, not all men are closed-minded, muslim or not... Marry someone who's just as open as you are and like my dad always tells me: "Marry someone who reminds you of your dad". Now I'm too young to get married, I'm only 20, but yeah you get the point. Ask for forgiveness, God is merciful and I'm sure he'd send you a man who'll love you & cherish you just as you are. You seem awesome xx


Thank you so much dear ❤ you made me really releieved. I overthink everything so maybe the problem isn't as bas as i view it. Thank u so much again❤
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby CupcakeGirlll » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:38 pm

Yukino114 wrote:Salam! Don't worry sister, as long as you regret it and you ask for forgiveness and never do it again you're fine.
You are not required to tell your future husband anything about your past if you don't want to. So just don't tell him. Or as your relationship grows, and you feel you can trust him and nothing will change between you if you tell him, tell him.
I wish the best for you💖


Thanks a lot honey.. It's too early to freak out right? Lol. So if he'll be open and understanding (I wouln't marry someone that isn't open or understanding) I'd open up to him maybe. Thank you ❤❤
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby cacahuate86 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:59 am

To be honest, if it's weighing so heavily on you and it's such a defining moment in your life, it feels kind of strange that you would keep it from your future husband. It's not something you just "forget" to tell someone, because it's so insignificant. You're actively and consciously keeping it a secret that to you personally sounds like a pivotal moment in your life.
Personally, I don't see a problem with s*x before marriage, but that's neither here nor there. I do see a problem with deceiving someone you are supposed to love however.
Listen, if the guy you'll eventually marry (whoever he is) cannot deal with you having had sexual experiences with someone else before him, he's not worth your time, attention and love anyway. Personally, I'd advise you to be open and honest about it. Besides, I'm sure tons of Muslim men give and receive oral s*x before marriage - so demanding their wives have no sexual experiences before they meet them is hypocritical. Also, it happened before the two of you will have met and it's part of what made you the person he will have fallen in love with. He should love the sum total of you, with every experience you had that made you who you are. If you hadn't had that experience, you wouldn't be the person he will fall in love with. And if he won't be able to see that, it's his problem, not yours. And he won't be the guy for you. No harm no foul. You'll find someone else who's more compatible.
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Re: Muslims? Sensitive question

Postby Yukino114 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:30 pm

CupcakeGirlll wrote:
Yukino114 wrote:Salam! Don't worry sister, as long as you regret it and you ask for forgiveness and never do it again you're fine.
You are not required to tell your future husband anything about your past if you don't want to. So just don't tell him. Or as your relationship grows, and you feel you can trust him and nothing will change between you if you tell him, tell him.
I wish the best for you💖


Thanks a lot honey.. It's too early to freak out right? Lol. So if he'll be open and understanding (I wouln't marry someone that isn't open or understanding) I'd open up to him maybe. Thank you ❤❤


Lol yes it is too early to freak out. But that's pretty rich coming from me because i worry about everything 😂.
Just calm down about it and don't give it any thought. Hope you find someone with an amazing personality and will love you no matter what❤️.
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