Family brining me down everyday

Family brining me down everyday

Postby izzkkaa » Thu May 18, 2017 4:52 pm

Hi. I have a problem
I live with my dad, mum and grandma. We were not always close or nothing.
Now, my dad is really supportive in every way so lets "leave" him.
Last week my mum out of nowhere told me "look at you! So fat! Never seen you so fat before". And my grandma "oh yeah that's true". I was like i dont care and left.
Then, as i was getting changed to my excercise clothes I looked in a mirror and started crying. Starting hatinvg myself. Even though I lost so much weight and I'm totally aware of it it bringed me down as now, everytime I do downstaris they just say "eat helthy" and as I open a fridge to get some vegs they're like "stop eating fat bastard". I WANt to move out to my bfs... is it good idea? Im 17
izzkkaa
 
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Location: Derby, England

Re: Family brining me down everyday

Postby Problem_girl » Thu May 18, 2017 9:01 pm

Don't worry. You can go on the gim or something sport do you like. You don't must eat only vegetables and health food. I was having this problem too.
Any tell my - you are fatt!!!
I have something scars.
But I don't give up.
I started go on the fitness and I did play volleyball.
It's help.
And I like my self now

When they won't stop tell about yourself you can telling their something about your change.

Remember
NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Problem_girl
 
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Re: Family brining me down everyday

Postby Cookie Monster » Fri May 19, 2017 2:33 pm

Just don't pay attention.I'm sure you are beautiful just the way you are!❤Only you know your struggles and efforts to lose weight so never give up or pay attention to the mean people who bring you down...Family should support&help us,not say things like that...Just keep doing your thing and ignore them...And maybe tell them that this makes you feel sad?They might not understand it...
Cookie Monster
 
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Re: Family brining me down everyday

Postby lynn103 » Tue May 23, 2017 2:26 am

Don't listen to what they said! You're beautiful the way you are! ❤
Listen to Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara! ❤ Remember, you're beautiful and it doesn't matter what they said! They don't know anything if they say that about you! Ignore it and go on! You're beautiful, girl! ❤❤
lynn103
 
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Re: Family brining me down everyday

Postby Moosey » Sat May 27, 2017 10:02 am

Moving in with boyfriend is probably not best idea. It's not easy living with someone you will just be getting new problems here. Use this negative experience to motivate yourself out of that house- to get job go to school and get your own place with a friend ect. You can do it!! We can't pick our family- but just cause family doesn't mean you have to tolerate verbal abuse. Tell them to shove it up their fatty butts. Tell them you will not listen to this and you are disappointed in them for their cruel behavior. Independence is the key here- not moving under someone else's roof
Moosey
 
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Re: Family brining me down everyday

Postby BlueLove » Sat May 27, 2017 1:02 pm

My father told me a couple of times that I was a "potato" when I was young (in French language it sounds even worse) and I took it really really badly. The damage those words make are huge.
Now over 15 years later, if I look back at the photos, I find myself normal. I was just a regular teen, not even overweight. Perhaps 5 kg over to look just perfect. Are we supposed to look perfect or like cover magazine? I don't think so!
I don't know why he did that. Perhaps he wanted to show off with a perfect looking daughter. Further to that, I felt awful. I gained a lot of weight while I was still living with them. (Stress makes you gain weight, stress also makes you eat more and unhealthy which makes you gain weight, and unacceptance of your body makes you go into diet which ultimately leaves you with more kg/pounds cause 99% of diets end up to have a yoyo effect on your body)
Please don't pay attention to their comments. They are nothing else than mean. They don't have real concern about your weight. If they had, they'd be helping you out with a health program - shopping lists, cooking, recipes and so on... they'd be with you, supporting you and not against you and shaming you.

How to deal with them? That's such a tough question.
Yes you can try to have a serious conversation with them about their behavior and how it affects them. Don't hesitate to give examples such as "what if I told you every five minutes you're an alcoholic?" If one of them is easy on the alcohol. Nobody is perfect, I'm sure you'll find something.
Communication may not work. Actually people rarely change and accept they were wrong. So you can try to have this conversation but be prepared if it doesn't change anything.
My father for instance never listened.

Moving with your boyfriend?
It really depends on you, your boyfriend and your situation.
For the moment, I think you need a vacation. Why don't you stay at your boyfriend for one or two weeks? This way you're not taking a definitive decision, you can experience life with him, get away from negative comments, and reconstruct yourself and your estime (I hope your boyfriend loves you just the way you are and covers you with compliments :) )
BlueLove
 
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