Desperate!!! HELP

Relationship with your partner

Desperate!!! HELP

Postby elle99lava11 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 10:19 pm

Okay so I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 16 months, we survived a long-distance relationship for almost half of last year’s, and since then we’ve been having arguments about us, him, me, my family, and my parents as well argued with me about my relationship with them and my bf. Each time we argue, the three of them always tell me the same things, the same ideas without knowing they coincided, but the difference is that they blame one another for how bad both relationships are (bf blames parents, parents blame him) and of course I also have my own part to be blamed for. I just feel tired of this, stressed, powerless; I’ve already spoken with the three of them but I just feel that isn’t enough. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to feel or to react, or who to listen, I just can’t be calmed.... They all want the best for me, but the problems with my parents have led me to neglect my bf, he’s disappointed and sad, he just asks me to love him right and naturally (which although I know I love him, I just can’t do anything right); and I also don’t want to have my parents as enemies, I want things to work out right (they say I’ve abandoned them and rather I’ve focused only in my bf -which I don’t believe completely)... Where am I wrong? Should I just listen my parents and break with my bf (who only wants me to be happy and to be the best of me) or should I just act as if nothing was bad...I don’t know? What should I do? ...
elle99lava11
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 6:03 am

Re: Desperate!!! HELP

Postby Kati-91 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:54 pm

Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds to me like both your bf and parents are fighting each other for your affection and this is very wrong, they should be able to find a way to get along without feeling “neglected “ and making you feel bad. If they continue like this all of them are going to lose you. Of course I don’t know your age and your living situation but I think your parents need to learn when to let go, if you’re leaving your bf because they’re manipulating you into it- they will most likely do it again and destroy every relationship you have in the future, they need to accept you’re growing up. Of course you need to balance family and partner, maybe there is a way of bringing them together as well? Apart from the family situation, if your bf is making you happy then stay with him. It’s great that you’ve talked to them, you can try again, remember to stay calm and don’t lose hope. All the best for you!
Kati-91
 
Posts: 69
Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2017 1:53 pm

Re: Desperate!!! HELP

Postby lezzle » Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:06 am

I think I can relate to this. I spent all my married life being controlled by my overbearing mother. I had to be "on call" 24/7. My mother felt it was my duty even though I have other siblings but she would never dream of treating them the same way as they "had their own lives". I hardly got any time to myself and I was never appreciated for my efforts, more often criticised or undermined. Why are your parents unhappy with you? Are they relying on you too much?
lezzle
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 7:19 am
Location: Scotland

Re: Desperate!!! HELP

Postby elle99lava11 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 6:53 am

Lezzle: my parents are unhappy with me because I stop doing activities I did before, they say I “don’t shine enough”... that’s the main reason of everything.
I hope you’re better

Thanks Kati-91 and lezzle, you made me realize lots of things and to keep calm...
elle99lava11
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 6:03 am


Return to Adult Relationship

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Hanna96, Relish124 and 18 guests