Need advice (sorry it's long)

Relationship with your partner

Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby lezzle » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:25 pm

HolyMelody wrote:Thanks everyone for your concerns. It makes me feel a lot better to read all the support everyone is giving. I started to realize that I keep giving him "second" chances and he always pulls the same crap. I also realized that I'm not his top priority and he cares more about handing out with his friends than he does me. We of course fought this weekend and I'm just tired of his controlling behavoir. I talked to my mother and she is more than happy to have me back home. Part of me wants to stay, but it's more out of pity than love. I don't feel anything towards him. When he touches or kisses me I feel nothing toward him but irritation. Which should be a sign in itself that my heart is ready to leave. I plan on leaving Monday when my mother is off so she can help me move and be there when I tell him I'm leaving. I hate to leave but he really has left me no choice. I feel smothered and unappreciated. I just have to convince myself that he will be okay when I'm gone, and that I will find someone better in my life. It's just hard because after you've become comfortable around someone it's hard to change, and part of me fears he's the best I'll ever do.

He's the worst you'll ever do, definitely not the best. Your strength will see you through. Go for it! You've made your decision and remember - don't look back x
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Boafo » Tue Apr 18, 2017 9:44 pm

Yes o my dear he won't change so please leave okk u deserve better
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Jajyjaysmomy » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:44 am

If you stay with him and have a child by this man he will have way more control over you knowing that you will be the mother of his child and make you feel like a worthless person/mother and know one ever wants to feel that way About themselves. Then bringing up a child in a rocky relationship isn't good either. From what I read you should just move on girl you can donway better.
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Beulah » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:20 am

Sounds like my crazy ex. Breaking up was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Yadgaari » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:51 pm

I had the same issue with mine. He is very protective and possessive. But I always take my time explaining him why I do what I do and why he is wrong etc. 75% of the time he agrees and end up letting me do stuff my way. Now I'm married to him happily. I think it all depends how to deal with it. When he tells me to do stuff his way I take my time calm him down and explain instead of arguing and that's all because I know we both love each other unconditionally. Sometimes he don't listen to me I let it go and do it his way because at the end of the day we both love each other and have to do some compromises. There are times that I don't like stuff he does or say and I say the same to him and he compromise. So relationship is all about giving and taking. If I listen to him then he listen to me. No one is perfect and there is no guarantee that you will be happier with the next one or the next one is going to be perfect. We all have flaws. Again it's your life and you have your own situation. So it's better to sit down and talk to him....
Hope stuff work out with you guys...
I never give up on anyone that I know loves me I try over and over again until I feel that it's not worth it anymore. So it's all upto you. If you think he truly loves you and never leave you or cheat on you then it's worth it to give another try and find another way to fix this issue.
All relationships got ups and downs but you have to love the person enough to go with him shoulder to shoulder in all situation...
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Alexa16 » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:12 am

Yadgaari wrote:I had the same issue with mine. He is very protective and possessive. But I always take my time explaining him why I do what I do and why he is wrong etc. 75% of the time he agrees and end up letting me do stuff my way. Now I'm married to him happily. I think it all depends how to deal with it. When he tells me to do stuff his way I take my time calm him down and explain instead of arguing and that's all because I know we both love each other unconditionally. Sometimes he don't listen to me I let it go and do it his way because at the end of the day we both love each other and have to do some compromises. There are times that I don't like stuff he does or say and I say the same to him and he compromise. So relationship is all about giving and taking. If I listen to him then he listen to me. No one is perfect and there is no guarantee that you will be happier with the next one or the next one is going to be perfect. We all have flaws. Again it's your life and you have your own situation. So it's better to sit down and talk to him....
Hope stuff work out with you guys...
I never give up on anyone that I know loves me I try over and over again until I feel that it's not worth it anymore. So it's all upto you. If you think he truly loves you and never leave you or cheat on you then it's worth it to give another try and find another way to fix this issue.
All relationships got ups and downs but you have to love the person enough to go with him shoulder to shoulder in all situation...

Did your bf put a gun to your head? I believe your situation is different than the OP. She needs to leave her bf. Period.
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Moosey » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:27 am

This man is dangerous. Has access to a gun and has used it before threatening ex. This woman is in danger. You have to protect yourself and leave before it's too late- his family confirmed he's psycho- this is going to escalate- there is no talking to a man who pulls a gun on a woman. It may be the ex but it will be you if you don't act. Prepare a safe place- get finances together and leave when he is not there. Do not talk to him about it. This is when women are most at risk for being murdered. When an abuser like this feels he's losing control. Contact a women's abuse agency in your area. There are women who have been what you are going thru and they can talk you thru this and be there for you. Be safe.
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Re: Need advice (sorry it's long)

Postby Happyfreedom » Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:20 am

Leave him; things will get worst , he will never trust you if thAt is his behavior now . Please take my advise you are too young ; you deserve someone that trust you and respect you
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