Raising biracial children

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Raising biracial children

Postby SunflowerRaven » Sun Apr 30, 2017 1:28 pm

Any mommies out there who are excepting or already raising biracial children? Any expectations to be aware about? Hair topics? Discussions asked by the kiddos about "why mommy and daddy look different"?

What were and are your experiences?
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby Pia90 » Tue May 09, 2017 7:06 pm

SunflowerRaven wrote:Any mommies out there who are excepting or already raising biracial children? Any expectations to be aware about? Hair topics? Discussions asked by the kiddos about "why mommy and daddy look different"?

What were and are your experiences?


hi, my daughter is three months and biracial. That word "biracial" sounds very awkward to me. Anyway, We are planning on not making our different race a huge deal. We will answer questions if they come up but we'll not focus on that part. She should learn that races don't matter but differences are there, no doubt.
How are you going about this? Interestes to know about other biracial couples.

Btw: It also depends on where you live. We live in Germany and it's not an issue here (at leadt here in Berlin)
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby SunflowerRaven » Fri May 19, 2017 1:49 pm

My family is beautifully mixed but we all know and love our similarities and differences. My mom is biracial, half black and Filipino, so the word is not uncommon in my family. I'm a 5'2 foot black and mixed Filipino lady and my husband is a blond blue eyed 6'4ft white man. Our differences are pretty notable lol. (His family is from Germany too). I know our child will ask questions but I would love to volunteer and share our different cultures and nationalities because it's apart of us and it'll be apart of the little one too.

We live in the northern part of California and even though interracial couplings are common here, for white men and black women, it's unfortunately still hated in America in some areas. I did hear that in Europe it's not a big deal. I know it must be nice. America is catching up but ever so slowly.

With my children I know one topic is going to be about hair. I want them to love and embrace their hair at any texture and length. It took me YEARS to love my curly kinky hair and I don't want them to fall into that same mindset I did as a kid.
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby cacahuate86 » Fri May 19, 2017 4:47 pm

Is that really a thing in the US? Are children treated differently, just because their parents have different ethnicities, so that people have to think about "raising" them differently than they would a child with parents who have the same skin color?
I'm with Pia. I'm from Germany and live in Austria, none of that is an issue here. My husband is Nigerian, I'm pasty German, our foster son is from Syria. Nobody looks at us strangely and it's never even come up as a topic, not between us, nor with other people.
Why would anyone care? You don't have to adapt your child rearing if you wear glasses and your partner doesn't, or if one of you has green eyes and the other brown eyes
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby Pia90 » Sat May 20, 2017 9:45 am

I think I have once mentioned it somewhere in this forum. My Partner and I felt very uncomfortable in the US. I really thought US- Americans must have gotten used to interracial couples by now?! I guess not.
It's really beautiful when no one cares about it, so that its just never an issue or a topic to talk about.
What I do agree is the hair "issue" it took me 21 years to accept and embrace my hair as it is.
I did not know my natural hair type untiI was 21. ISN'T that shocking? My parents always told me to have straight european lookng hair.
And when I went all natural, what came out of my mothers mouth was also shoking (but not surprising at all). She said: Now you look like an african person with that nappy hair (like it's a bad or ugly thing to be).
I do wish for my daughter to never experience this.
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby cacahuate86 » Sat May 20, 2017 1:24 pm

That's a bit sad, tbh. I wish she could have been more supportive. What's wrong with looking like you're African anyway? If that's your heritage, be proud of it!
Also... what a waste of time to always have to style your hair into something it isn't.
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby SunflowerRaven » Sat May 20, 2017 5:14 pm

My best friends mother wasn't supportive when she went natural too. She told her, "you look so much better with your hair permed". Horrible. When I would go on natural hair blogs or simply blogs for uplifting black women and girls, I would always see ladies expressing their hurt when family members would be so disrespectful about their choice to go natural.

As for interracial marriages in the US, it did not get legalized nation wide until 1967. My mom wasn't even born yet. It's still sensitive here for a lot of people and there's an ugly double standard too when a black women dates and married out but okay when black men to do it. Some states and cities are more accepting and better than most and fortunately for us we live in a diverse mixed area.

I'll continue checking online for parenting blogs for some insights and advice on raising biracial children. There are three mommies I follow on Instagram that run a blog and sometimes they discuss interesting topics. My favorites are always the hair topic because they are usually very inspirational and beautiful. Especially when its mother/daughter topics.

Thanks for sharing and discussing ladies 💜

Also happy belated Mother's Day to you mommies!
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby Pia90 » Sun May 21, 2017 5:52 pm

Oh yes it was very insensitive of my mother. And Cacahuates is right. It takes a lot of time and energy just to look like someone you are not.
Anyways, I'll tell my daughter everyday how beautiful everone is in their natural state.
I'm very happy for you that you live in a place where interracial marriage is not looked upon negatively.
I know the US American History is quite complex but I can't believe how backwords they think now a days after having a black president, how can this still be a topic?
Europe has not have blacks or other immigrants here for that long but gotten used to interracial marriages in half the time the US needs.
This does not include France or the UK.
Very disappointing.
Please share more guys if you find any interesting link or any other information. I'm a cyber granny so I don't have or use modern stuff like instegram.
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby TQQkers » Tue Jun 20, 2017 5:06 pm

I'm a white woman married to a black man. We live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Where mixed race couple is pretty common, however there's still hatred everywhere. I don't much notice it anymore. I had our son at the doctor (who when he was younger looked more like a Pacific Islander than a black/white mixed kid). A woman sitting nearby told me "wow he has the most beautiful color of skin, what is his father"? I said "his dad is black". My son in a super shocked voice said "WHAT?!?!? I thought my dad was brown"! LOL. I think kids just live with what is normal to them. There hasn't been a need to go into conversations about it. Hair topics aren't an issue because his hair is kept short. But I will say, it REALLY bothers me when other white women have mixed race kids and don't take the time to learn how to care for their hair. Your children are going to be absolutely gorgeous!
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Re: Raising biracial children

Postby HoneyBunny3131 » Fri Jun 23, 2017 12:32 pm

I am of Irish heritage on my mother's side and unknown origins from my father's side and my three children are Mexican on their father's side so I don't have the same type of biracial as the previous replies but I do get the stares. I am very pale skinned, Hazel eyed, with brown hair (right now it's bleach blonde) and my kids are tan skinned, dark brown eyed, and jet black hair. But I don't concern myself with strangers thoughts all I care about is that my children know how much I love them and would do anything for them to insure their happiness
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